Are You Measuring What Matters?
What are you tracking these days? Metrics are common in both business and personal life (budgets, cooking, steps, weather, gas mileage, etc.). However, I've recently noticed that my clients in the job search process may not be using metrics in a supportive way.
One of my clients tracked resumes sent, response rates, and interviews, but felt frustrated despite several interviews and no job. This frustration is understandable, as the job search process can be challenging and discouraging.
I wondered if her perspective was too limited. Viewing every interaction as a failure was not helpful. In coaching, we call this 'black-and-white thinking'. What if she stepped back and considered small successes:
Her resume was getting past the ATS (Applicant Tracking System) leading to conversations with recruiters
Her recruiter conversations resulted in interviews with the hiring manager
She prepared well and presented a 90-day plan in her interviews
Though the company chose another direction, she saw this as a failure: her failure. However, I believe there are more empowering ways to think about this process.
Imagine for a moment, a parent talking with their toddler who is learning to walk but hasn’t yet mastered the skill:
"Well kid, I've seen you try to walk a few times and it's just not working out. Are you sure walking is for you?"
"OK, our neighbors next door have a toddler who's 3 months younger than you and they're walking. What's the holdup?"
"You're good at grabbing coffee tables and hoisting yourself up, but these are crutches. Where's the real progress?"
"You're 13 months old and you're still not walking. This is disappointing; you should be further along."
"You're a failure at walking, I don't know how you look at yourself in the mirror."
"This is so typical of you. You can barely manage a spoon, you can't speak clearly and you cry all the time. How will you ever succeed in life?"
While a conscientious parent would never speak to a child in this way, how many of us see a connection between these statements and our own self-talk? What if my client instead, spoke to herself the way a doting parent might speak to their toddler who is learning to walk:
Look at you and the progress you're making! Every day, your legs are getting stronger and you're learning to walk!
Let's go see our friend next door. I'm sure you would both enjoy playing together.
Wow, you're grabbing a coffee table to help yourself stand. Well done, how amazing you figured that out!
I love that you're finding your own way to learn to walk. You're learning something new every day!
I can see that you want to walk. Look at how you keep trying and trying. You're getting there!
Look at all the other things you've learned. You can now hold a spoon, you're starting to feed yourself and you've learned 3 new words. That's amazing!
Shifting from a success-failure mindset to one that acknowledges progress is more empowering and motivational. Acknowledging and celebrating small successes will make your job search process less stressful and help you approach interviews as a more calm and confident you.
How many of us have interviewed with a desperate mindset of 'I just HAVE to get this job'? I have and the interviews did not go well. Reducing self-imposed pressure helps you be more resourceful and is better self-care. Excessive pressure slows you down, is unsupportive, and feels terrible, like a sports coach yelling at a losing team.
Consider how you might better support yourself on a long journey towards a goal. How could you shift your self-talk so that it's kinder and more compassionate? What are you measuring that is both helpful and motivational?
Keep going!
Cynthia