Libraries are magical places, a world of possibilities! As a self-professed library nerd, I love visiting libraries when I travel. There's something comforting about being in a room brimming with books.

Recently, I wondered: what if we thought of our brains as our own personal library with each of us the chief librarian (minus the serious countenance, glasses dangling on a chain, and a desire to shush people)? What if you curated the stories and books inside your brain library? What does your collection say about you? What stories do you read over and over? Which ones might you let go of? Which ones might need some serious editing?

Scottish National Portrait Gallery Reading Room, Edinburgh, Scotland, 2022

We humans are wired for story, our most effective communication is through story. When things don't make sense to us, we will make up a story in order to understand things (think: speculation and the rumor mill).

For example: imagine that someone cut you off while you were driving. It would be easy to create the story that this person is a poor driver, a jerk and they shouldn't have cut you off. Then, based on that story, the next step is to get angry at them in righteous indignation. Then, it’s time to share this version of the story with others for acknowledgment and support. And now, it becomes a chapter in a book titled The World is Out to Get Me.

But how many other stories might be true about this event? Could it be that the person cutting you off had poor vision and didn't see you? Could they have been rushing off to the hospital after hearing of a family member being injured? Could they have missed the road signs that indicated you had the right of way? Or could you, distracted by a podcast, have missed the road signs and failed to yield the right of way to them?

There are many story possibilities here. Most people tend to choose the story that best aligns with their values and file that story in their personal library.

National Museum of Scotland, Edinburgh, Scotland, 2022

This made me wonder, what other books might reside in the library in my head? My chief librarian had some thoughts:

I have an old, worn copy of The Goal is Number One that is now in the recycling bin. I've been reading a new book titled Care for Those Around You and Watch the Magic Unfold and I am so inspired. The Goal book enabled me to reach my goals in the past, but satisfaction levels were low as I overlooked people's feelings. With my new book, my goals aren't quite as predictable, but the process is so much richer, more enjoyable, and satisfying. I love the wonderful surprises that arrive in the form of human relationships.
I'm working to let go of It's Too Hard. I've clung to it for a long time and let myself be comforted by its stories. While the short-term effects were mildly satisfying and supported my valiant efforts at procrastination, the long-term effects were terribly disappointing. I've recently tried to toss It's Too Hard more than once, but it just keeps sneaking back on my desk when I look the other way. 'Go', I tell it. The copy stubbornly refuses to budge. However, I've watched it change from a hardback to a paperback and it's now somewhat smaller in size. You see, I recently discovered a tiny brand-new edition of Take a Small Step and See What Happens in the back of my library. I had to get on my tiptoes to dig it out from the back of the bookshelf, and I've only read it once or twice. But each time I read it, I feel more accomplished and successful. It's Too Hard will probably serve as fireplace kindling this winter.
Wouldn't you know it, It's Too Hard has two sequels titled This Will Take Too Long and It’s Not Going Fast Enough. Like It's Too Hard, the sequels can be comforting for a few minutes. But as I reflect on past experiences, This Will Take Too Long and It’s Not Going Fast Enough resulted in regret and frustration. Thankfully, I found a copy of It Takes the Time That It Takes in a box in my basement and have added it to my shelf next to Take a Small Step and See What Happens. Together, I think both volumes will lead to better, more satisfying results.

As I review and curate the stories and books in my library, I wonder: what stories and books are in your library? Which titles do you want to keep and which are you ready to recycle? I'd love to hear your thoughts!

What’s in your library?

cynthia lait

What’s in your library?

What the luck?

Are You Measuring What Matters?

cynthia lait