A Low-touch Thanksgiving
If you’re in the US, Thanksgiving is just around the corner. Many of us are in full prep mode: choosing recipes, checking cupboards for ingredients, shopping, prepping food, and finalizing guest lists. Hollywood and social norms have set a high bar for Thanksgiving dinners and what's necessary for a 'successful Thanksgiving dinner': perfectly roasted giant turkey, fluffy mashed potatoes, pumpkin pies, smiling, happy guests, and a perfectly coiffed hostess, relaxed and confident in the meal she’s prepared.
The reality is often much different. Growing up with an immigrant mom who was new to Thanksgiving, our celebrations were varied and often non-traditional. As the years passed, we learned the norms but still enjoyed the occasional Thanksgiving goose and chocolate mousse to the delight of my friends!
In a recent conversation with a friend, we talked about Thanksgiving. It was immediately obvious that, while a part of her was looking forward to the day, there was also some heaviness in her voice. She was hosting dinner for several family members, and as most of us have experienced, family gatherings can be challenging. There are different dietary needs and preferences, different ways of communicating and socializing, all sorts of family relationship histories, and with recent election results, different points of view on many topics.
‘It’s cookie time and you are behind schedule!’
We then started exploring: what might a lighter Thanksgiving experience look like. What options are available in terms of a more flexible menu, and different meal preparation options? How could this gathering be more fun and light-hearted? What games might lighten the mood and provide a common experience? What menu options are available? What would it look like if more family members participated in food and recipe choices as well as preparation?
Lizzy and Henry in the kitchen ‘drop zone’
At the end of our conversation, we both left with several ideas on how to make the day lighter and more meaningful. There was less heaviness about tasks ahead knowing that there’s the possibility of engaging with family members to help with the work at hand. And maybe a sense of possibility for what the day might bring.
Reading to Ranger and Grommit
For those of us who have a habit of overachieving (from a recovering overachiever), it's easy to step into the shoes of the hero, the one who consistently delivers excellent results. We have the best intentions when we do this: to provide a wonderful experience for those around us. But when we step in to run things all the time, we lose the potential for new ideas and greater connection with those around us. This tendency can also cause us to turn fun activities into overwhelming lists of todos. We exhaust ourselves so that the event is no longer fun.
As Thanksgiving Day approaches, what might a low-touch Thanksgiving look like for you? What can you change or let go of? Who might be able to support you and bring their talents to the table? What would a more creative Thanksgiving experience look like? How can you make this week lighter for everyone?
It’s the Great Pumpkin, Wallace!
On a thankful note, I want to appreciate you, my audience for being on this coaching journey with me. Thank you for your support and your engagement. Wishing all of you a wonderful day with family, friends, and loved ones,
Cynthia