Choice
If you were to visit me and look at my bathroom mirror you would see the following sign taped to the mirror:
Choose sign, 2023
I made it to remind myself to choose to be happy every single day of my life. You see, our brains are programmed to look for problems and danger.
For most of us, when we wake, we'll consider the day ahead and focus on areas of difficulty: the meeting that we're leading later that morning and are we ready for it ? How will we handle a challenging question? Or the difficult conversation with a colleague this afternoon. How will we handle ourselves if things becomes contentious? And the gym class we're supposed to attend this evening. How will I motivate myself to go when I'm so tired after a day's work? And who's cooking dinner tonight?
The belief is often: if I think about it now, I'll be better prepared later on. That can be true, but the thinking often turns into brooding and overthinking, which is not helpful. By the time we've processed most of these thoughts, the brain has shifted to a negative mode setting the tone for a bad day.
Wallace on Alki Beach, 2022
What if, instead, we thought about the hot shower awaiting us in the bathroom or the family dog that can't wait to greet us good morning? And maybe, some interactions may be challenging during the day, but what if we remember that the job we have today is one that pays our bills and allows us to take vacations? And while getting to the gym class might be daunting, how good do we feel after the class, knowing that we practiced strong self-care today and set our bodies up for success?
Post workout!
When I start retraining my brain to look for the positives, the day becomes lighter and more inspiring. I notice small, happy coincidences during the day: a green light, a good parking spot, the birds singing, a child smiling, the tulips about to bloom. And when I'm lighter, I'm able to share my lightness with the people around me.
Of course, there are times and circumstances in life when this choice is less accessible and even inappropriate (major health challenges, trauma, grief, etc.). But for most of us, the choice is available to us on most days.
Last year, I joined an organization called Engin, that matches Ukrainian students with English-speakers to help students improve their English skills. My Ukrainian student shared this inspiring link with me. It's a Ukrainian composer recording many of the sounds of their hometown and creating a piece of music using only those sounds. The focus is on listening to all of the sounds that still exist in their town: the light rail, the ducks, the bells, etc. What an amazing choice this composer is making during times of war!
Blackout poetry - turning an old book of dated short stories into something fun and whimsical
What choices do you want to make when you get up tomorrow morning?