A fruitless train ride

I just got off the train.  Not just any train, the 'it's not fair' train.  I got on without thinking, and settled in for a nice little 3-day ride.  Amid refrains of 'it's not fair', 'why should I have to do this' and 'why do these things always happen to me?', I had a nice little temper tantrum and rode round and round, getting nowhere.  I told all my friends about what happened (an unpleasant interaction with a neighbor) and anyone else who would listen.  I may have embellished things just a bit for effect, I'm embarrassed to admit.  Of course it was all my neighbor's fault, I was the poor injured victim. I had decided to dig in and make the most of my train ride.

The ‘It’s Not Fair’ Train

You see, the 'it's not fair' train sneaks up when you're not paying attention.  It's very tempting to walk onboard, and before you know it, you're traveling at light speed on a track that circles round and round, going nowhere. Once you get tired of the 'It's not fair' car, you can start wandering towards other cars hoping that the seating or the view is better.  But you find that the other cars ('I'm a good person, I don't deserve this', 'If only things had been different', and the ever-popular 'They should change, not me') are all following the same locomotive on the same track.  There is no resolution and so much time is wasted.  Your mind spends time spinning on the issue, creating bigger stories about how things should have been and how you've been wronged.  Meanwhile, the rest of the world is moving on and you're still riding around in circles.

Settling in for the train ride…

Finally, the story-telling became dull and I realized that this was going nowhere. I had to change my thinking and actions. As the train slowed, I jumped off landing with a thud. It was time to find a solution to this disagreement by working with a coach colleague. I discovered a couple of things about myself and shifted my attitude. There were also adjustments to be made. The situation is much better now: both my neighbor and I have moved on. 

What’s interesting about this train is that we're all free to ride on it for as long as we want to. It can be a popular ride. But here's the thing: when you're on this train, you've chosen to take on a victim role and to give away most of your power. While that can seem comforting for a bit, regaining your power is the way out. How did you contribute to the situation/event? What might be a positive outcome? What's one tiny baby step you can take to start finding your way back (hint: a coach is a great place to start!)

I hope to never board the 'It's not fair' train again, but I don't know, the food in the dining car was really tempting...