Oh those roundabouts...
Let's face it, we all fall down. It's a regular part of life. We set a goal, work towards it, and then… splat. The answer is no. We cry, we complain, we get angry, but the answer is still no. We confide in close friends about the failure and we keep it secret from the rest of the world, not wanting to share our vulnerabilities. At some point, most of us recover, never speak of the failure again, and move on.
Last Friday morning, I stumbled: I did not pass my oral exam for the PCC coaching credential. I came close, but there's still work to do. I was shocked. I had worked hard, practiced my coaching, studied, and had seen my colleagues pass. How could I not pass? I did all the right things…. Well, it happened and I was hugely disappointed. It stung. After a good cry, several brownies and a long walk, I decided that I would schedule another exam and get better prepared based on the feedback from this one. This was just a new step placed in front of me towards my goal of being a credentialed coach.
An interesting thing happened as I shared this news with my coach friends. They shared their own stories of failures, stumbles, frustrations and aggravations. Others offered support to help me prepare to retake my oral exam. While I would never wish failure on my friends, it was nice to feel understood, validated and supported. It also helped me to remember that stumbles happen every day. We don't talk about them much but maybe we should. When all we see are lists of successes, it's easy to forget the huge piles of failures bulging from the back of the closet we keep tightly shut.
When I was selling my artwork, I had a huge aha moment while preparing for a show. As I was choosing the pieces that would hang in the show, I looked around my studio. There was work everywhere: unfinished pieces, pieces that were on the brink of being done, pieces that had gone awry, and pieces that should have been recycled long ago. There were sketchbooks filled with ideas that would never go beyond just a sketch or a few words. There was so much more 'non-show-quality-work' work than work I would show. Were these other works failures? No! You see, each piece of work contributed to the success of the next piece. I had learned something new as I progressed from piece to piece.
I like to think of the path to success as map of roads in the French countryside. First, the road to where you want to go is never obvious and never straight. It curves and winds its way around the landscape. You have to slow down when the curve gets really tight. Sometimes, you get stuck behind a slow-moving tractor. Other times, a gate's been left open and the chickens are out on the road. You have to slow down! Second, when you hit a roundabout, it's easy to get turned around and take an unintended road. You only realize this several kilometers into the ride and then have to regroup to figure out the next steps. Third, you will run into dead ends. There isn't always room to make a U-turn, but after several forwards and backs, you head back to the main road. In the end, you reach your destination and you've had an interesting journey.
So, my friends, I've taken a wrong turn at the roundabout and I'm now working my way back for another go at this oral exam. As I prepare for this, I might even discover a new dimension to coaching that will make me a better coach. I’ve also decided to take in the fields of sunflowers, stop for a break at the local café and appreciate how lovely it is to be right where I am. When you reach your destination, there will always be another destination ahead. There is no finish line.
