The garden as coach Part 3 - Seeds
Have you ever marveled at how something as small as an acorn see can become a 100 foot tall oak tree? What about a 1/4" sunflower seed turning into 12-foot tall flower?
When working with a coach, seeds are often planted and you may not see the immediate result. But suddenly, you find yourself shifting just a little bit and making a small change. Those seeds of new beliefs are waiting to be nurtured in order to start bearing fruit.
I remember learning this during my coach training. One of my mentor coaches used to say, “you don't do coaching, you are a coach”. When she first said this, I didn't understand. I brushed the thought aside and decided it was too 'woo-woo'. But, as I continued along in my coach training, the seed of this idea was sitting in the back of my mind, waiting for the right conditions to grow.
During my coach mastery program, things began to change. I was coaching a peer coach, asking all of the right questions, but we weren't getting anywhere. My client was getting frustrated, and so was I. We ended the session unsuccessfully and I was disappointed that I had failed him as a coach. Upon reviewing the recording with my mentor coach, she told noted that I was asking many of the right coaching questions. However, I wasn't being a coach. I was in my head going through the list of questions, but my client wasn't being heard. I wasn't present nor listening to my client.
Finally, a light bulb went off and my coaching did a 180-degree turn. In my next coaching session, I became a present coach. I held space for, listened to, and partnered with my client. I asked questions that made sense and helped my client find her best solution. I was being a coach. It took about 6 months for that seed to germinate and grow, and now it's one of my core values as a coach.
In another example, I was working with a client who had a habit of creating negative stories about happenings in her life. During one coaching session, I asked: 'how might you reframe that?'. She rolled her eyes, sighed, and gave me that 'you're such a Pollyanna' look. However, she took the time to reframe her story in a more positive light. This happened two or three times during the course of our coaching.
It wasn't a big, life-changing question. But here's where things got interesting: She started to get into the habit of reframing. She would catch her brain doing what it does naturally: looking for signs of danger and focusing on those negative aspects. She then started redirecting her thoughts in a more positive way. Soon, things started to shift for herself and her business. Instead of 'I haven't found any new clients today', her language moved to 'I made 5 outbound calls to potential clients and they may decide to hire me in the future.' This acorn of thought was growing solid roots and a strong trunk!
It's so exciting to watch clients shift and connect with who they want to become. What seeds do you want to plant in your brain that might support the future you want for yourself?