Lagom and the Courage Project

I was recently in Stockholm on business and had an amazing stay. In preparing for my trip, came across the word lagom. Translated literally, it means just the right amount. What I noticed about Swedish culture was a lack of constantly striving for more, for bigger and better, and a focus on equity and individualism. People waited patiently in lines and worked collaboratively to resolve issues. This historic city was snowy, welcoming, and beautiful; I can't wait to go back!

It's been about two months since I launched the Courage Project, and I wanted to share five lessons I've learned along the way: 

1. Taking on courage challenges was so much more fun with a friend; we met every Friday to talk about our progress. We shared our fears and challenges, nudged each other when we made excuses, supported each other when things were challenging, and held each other accountable. My accountability partner has been the best part of this experience.
   Note to self: Challenges are more fun and doable with other people.

2. It turns out that my fear is a master of disguise. It has masqueraded as procrastination, being too busy, discomfort, anxiety, and my personal favorite: overwhelm.
   Note to self: when these excuses start to appear, there's a fear that needs addressing.

3. One of the items on my list was to post a small flyer about my coaching business in local businesses. My gym has a community bulletin board, so I started there. On the drive to the gym, I could hear my brain creating all sorts of crazy stories about why this wasn't a good idea: the woman at the front desk will laugh at me; everybody will call me and I won't know how to handle so many clients; nobody will call me and I will be a failure; the entire West Seattle community will roll their eyes when they see me. Finally, I made myself get out of my car and go inside. I asked the woman at the front desk if it was possible to post something on the back bulletin board. She smiled and said 'Of course, please go ahead'. Encouraged, I walked to the bulletin board and put my flyer up. I thanked her as I left and smiled all the way to my car. I had done it. It felt so powerful. How could I have let something so simple become such a stumbling block?
   Note to self: things are rarely as awful as I play them out in my head.

4. Another challenge was talking to my coaching clients about money. I was raised in an environment where it wasn't polite to talk about money and I was uncomfortable asking for my coaching fee. It wasn't that I lacked confidence in my abilities (1.5 years of training, 150+ hours of coaching). It was that I enjoyed the process of coaching so much, why would people pay me to do this? But as I looked at other professionals, I saw that my plumber didn't mind asking to get paid, neither did my electrician nor my veterinarian. I then practiced my coaching fee conversation with a couple of friends and found that it got easier the more I practiced it.
   Note to self: When clients pay for coaching, they are more committed and invested in making progress.

5. As I took on more challenges, I found myself hesitating less in all areas of my life. Each small success resulted in less fear for the next challenge. I spent less time imagining how scary the challenge would be and instead, focused my energy on what was needed to meet the challenge.
   Note to self: Small, consistent courage habits helped me to expand my comfort zone and increased my confidence.

As I wrap up the Courage Project, I am thankful to my accountability partner and to you. Knowing that I had to share the results of this project, I stayed with it, even when I was discouraged or just 'didn't feel like it'.

Here's to Spring as we start to see warmer days, and hopefully leaving the pandemic behind us.